The Princess and the Pauper
by mumyou nanashi
Summary: HIATUS. Cagalli and Kira as the Princess and the Pauper respectively. Princess Cagalli Yula Athha of Orb and Kira Yamato, a pauper, looked identical...except for the fact that Kira is a boy. [AC, KL, nonyaoi]
1. Once a Funny Time

_**Author's Notes:** Hehe. I was watching _Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper_ the other day and my cousin gave me this idea!_

_**Disclaimer:** The author does not own anything in this fic._

_**Warning:** If you're looking for something sensible to read, find something else!_

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**Chapter One - Once a Funny Time**

* * *

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far, away, two identical (almost) babies were born. Well, actually, it wasn't 'once upon a time,' it was more like, C.E. 55; and the kingdom wasn't so far away. It was in the Orb Union. But since this is kind of like a fairy tale, it seemed appropriate for the writer to write 'once upon a time' and all that crap.

Okay, moving on…

The first baby was named Cagalli Yula Athha. She was born of the Athha family which meant that she was a princess. The King and Queen loved her very, very much and gave her all that she could ever want and need.

"Hey, father," the little princess asked tentatively. She looked up to him with puppy dog eyes.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Could I have a gun?" she asked sweetly.

The King choked on his coffee and surveyed the princess out of the corner of his eyes. He weighed down the options like a good king. _Scenario 1: I refuse and she throws a tantrum. Not very appealing…especially since I'm drinking _hot_ coffee… Scenario 2: I agree and she wreaks havoc around the palace…but she leaves me alone. Okay!_

"Of course! Anything for my princess!"

The other baby was named Kira Yamato. He was born to a not-so-average family. His parents tried to give him all that he could ever want and need. But they failed to do so often, because they were poor.

"Mommy?" little Kira asked, his cute little purple eyes blinking. "Can I have a – "

"Um, I'm not sure, Kira," his mother interrupted. Then she turned to the father, "Quick! Bring him inside the house! If he can't see what's going on outside, he won't know what to ask for!"

And little Kira was whisked away into their dark and empty house to brood on the reason why his parents won't let him ask for something to ask for.

Several years had passed and the princess and the pauper grew up to be such fine individuals. Well, fine for their parents' eyes anyway.

Princess Cagalli, with her blonde hair and amber eyes, instantly became a hit with all the other princes in the land. However, she still remained unmarried because all the princes, upon meeting her face-to-face, went home in bandages, promising to never come back.

On the other hand, Kira, who was not so little anymore, was what you may call a certified bishounen. A lot of girls drooled at the mere thought of him. However, he still remained unmarried because he was so poor that he can't even buy himself a backbone to ask for someone's hand in marriage.

-

One day, the kingdom of Orb became bankrupt.

"This is preposterous!" the King boomed. "It's impossible for all of our resources to just suddenly go kaput!"

His royal bodyguard/adviser/informant didn't even flinch. "But that's exactly what happened, Your Majesty."

While the King stood stock-still in shock with his royal bodyguard/adviser/informant looking at him; they didn't notice the _other_ royal adviser, Rau Le Creuset, snickering in the background.

_Success!_ He thought evilly. _My plan to steal all of their treasures worked! Now, all I have to do is to _volunteer_ to share all my treasures with them. Provided that the Princess marries me! And then, I'll be the king! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

He was snapped back to reality when the royal bodyguard/adviser/ - aw, screw it! – when _Kisaka_ tapped him gently. "The King was asking for your opinion regarding Orb's current predicament."

Le Creuset rubbed his chin, pretending to think hard. He then snapped his fingers. "Aha! I have an idea! Why don't we choose a husband for the princess? A rich husband who may be able to _share_ his riches to the kingdom of Orb!"

The King nodded happily. "That's a great idea!" And then his face fell, "But I don't think Cagalli will be too keen on the idea. She has a lot of suitors but for some reason, none of them has asked for her hand in marriage."

Le Creuset brushed away the idea with a wave of his hand. "Nonsense, Your Majesty. Once the princess learns of the situation, I'm sure she'll agree."

"When you put it that way…I think she'll understand," the King agreed. He then popped the question that Le Creuset was waiting for. "But who?"

Le Creuset opened his mouth to answer when Kisaka, who remained silent until now, butted in. "If I may speak, Your Majesty. A young king from a nearby kingdom seeks for himself a wife. He meets all of the requirements: mainly, rich, loaded and wealthy."

"Great!" the king replied. "Send word to him of our proposal." And then he stood up to inform the princess of the plans. Kisaka then bowed and exited. He had someone to talk to. Only Le Creuset was left in the throne room.

He was fuming. _How dare that Kisaka foil my plans! Now, I have to make a new one! Blast it!_ And then he smirked. _I have an idea! I'll hire some goons to kidnap the princess. When the princess _refuses_ to meet with the young king, the engagement will be called off! And then, I'll go and _rescue_ the princess and offer to be her rich husband! Wow! Sometimes my intelligence amazes even me!_

He cackled evilly. "HAHAHAHAHAHA -cough- HAHAHAHAHAHA...!"

**-**

"What! I'm going to be married! To a total stranger!" the princess screamed.

The King rubbed his temples tiredly. "I'm sorry, honey. But we're in dire straits. That was the only thing my _trusty_ adviser suggested."

"Well, if that's the only dumb way he could think of, you should fire him!" Cagalli said angrily. Her father was asking her to marry a total stranger. What if that king turned out to be some DOM! _Ugh! Yuck! How gross!_

Seeing the repulsed look on his daughter's face, he assured her. "Don't worry. Kisaka told me that he was a _young_ king."

"Well, what if he's young but he turns out to be some ugly-looking weirdo?" Cagalli retorted.

"Cagalli, please," the king begged. "Marry him. For the sake of our kingdom."

"The guy's friggin' advertising for his own wife! That should give you an idea on how he looks like! He must have crooked teeth and coke-bottle glasses!"

"Well, divorce is allowed in our country. Even in his. Please, honey! I'll do anything!" the king pleaded. He even went as low as to clasp his hands and fall on his knees.

Cagalli, not used to seeing her father in such a pathetic state, finally and reluctantly agreed. "Stand up father. Okay, I'll do it. But if I don't like him, you won't live long enough to see my wedding day."

* * *

_**Author's Notes:** Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Is it not funny enough? Is it bad? Stupid? Corny? Let me know so I can _try_ to do something about it!_


	2. Scheming Sidekicks

_**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I do not own Gundam SEED._

_**Warning:** Slight language...and OOC of course! How can you have a parody -without- OOC characters?_

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**Chapter Two – Scheming Sidekicks**

* * *

For every main character conceptualized for a story, there is a sidekick included solely for aiding the main character in achieving his or her goals. Well, we've met our two (very unlikely) protagonists in the previous chapter, so this author thinks that it's high time we meet the beautiful, pink-haired tutor of the Princess Cagalli.

With her big, baby blue eyes, long and flowing pink hair and graceful disposition; it came as no surprise when the King chose Lacus Clyne to 'teach' Princess Cagalli the finer points of being a well-mannered and gracious princess.

Another reason was Lacus' famed patience. The girl was probably the most patient human being ever to grace the rowdy princess' presence. But at times like this, Lacus felt her infinite patience running thin.

"Princess Cagalli," she sighed heavily as she carefully put down the thick science textbook that she was using. "Please pay attention. Now, according to the cell theory..."

Cagalli slammed both her hands on the table. "I don't care about a freakin' cell! I'm bloody getting married in less than a week and here I am studying about cells and other blasted stuff instead of planning my escape!"

"Princess... didn't we discuss this already? As the Princess of Orb, you have duties and responsibilities..."

"Aww, come on, Lacus!" Cagalli interrupted her. She sharply turned her flashing amber eyes in her direction. "Cut the tutor crap and revert back to friend mode! I'm in dire straits here!"

Lacus gave her a mock scandalized look. "Princess! Such vulgar words!" Then, unable to control herself anymore, she burst into giggles. "Sorry, Cagalli-chan," she apologized in between giggles, "I couldn't resist."

Cagalli glared at her, which prompted her to cease laughing. "Lacus! What am I going to do!" she burst out in desperation. "I haven't even seen his -shadow-! What if he turns out to be some kind of wacko? He's practically -begging- for a wife! That's a big, glaring clue on how he must look like!"

"He's a -wealthy- wacko, that's for sure," Lacus murmured absently as she stared at the piles and piles and -piles- of various expensive gifts scattered in the study room.

Cagalli let out a breath of frustration and burrowed her head in her arms. "Lacus! You're not helping one bit," came the muffled accusation.

Lacus patted Cagalli's shoulder sympathetically. There was nothing funny with the Princess' situation...well, there –were- a few things which can be considered as funny, but if she were in Cagalli's shoes, she'd probably feel the same. She looked at their schedule and grimaced inwardly. "Why don't we go outside for some fresh air, Cagalli-chan?"

"Yeah, right. Good luck finding fresh air in all that smog," Cagalli retorted jokingly. "But I'm willing to inhale poisonous gas, as long as it gets me out of here." She stood up and quickly dragged Lacus to her room.

"Cagalli? Why are we going to your room?"

Cagalli didn't even stop walking as she gave her answer. "There's no way in hell I'm walking around town wearing this (she gave the green dress that she was wearing a violent tug) dress!" She looked over her shoulder and smirked at Lacus' clothing. "And you'll have to change into something less eye-catching so we don't attract attention. We're going to wander around aimlessly, not going to attend some ball or party or whatever."

Lacus just smiled. Cagalli was always making fun of her clothes, insisting that it was much 'too girly'. She wasn't just a tutor... No, she was also the Princess' best friend. Sure, Cagalli was a handful; but with her infinite patience, she -always- managed.

Plus, the pay was -good-.

-

And speaking of sidekicks... let's go over to the darkside...

"Aw, man! You cheated, Yzak!" a blond, tan-skinned young boy pointed a finger accusingly at his silver-haired friend.

Yzak Joule just raised his eyebrows and sneered in reply.

Dearka Elthman, the blond, shot his hand forward and pressed the reset button on the game console that they were playing.

"What are you doing, Dearka!" Yzak demanded angrily. "I won fair and square! Why did you press the goddamn button!"

Dearka smirked at him. "You cheated! I demand a rematch!"

"You could've done it without pressing the reset button, you idiot! Do you know how long it took for me to get to that level?"

"Well, you should've thought of that before you cheated!"

"How could I freaking cheat on this game!"

"Cheater!"

"Idiot!"

"Cheater, cheater, cheater, cheater..."

"Would you guys -shut up-? I'm trying to work here!" a green-haired boy suddenly shouted. "You'd think being -older- would also mean being more -mature-."

Yzak and Dearka glared at Nicol Amarfi and the latter returned their gazes equally. After a few minutes, "You blinked, Dearka! I saw it!"

"I did not!" Dearka protested.

Yzak, in turn, was ecstatic. "Haha! I win! Both of you are losers!"

Rau Le Creuset, who was watching the entire ordeal from his hiding place, slapped his forehead with his hands in frustration._ 'So this is what these idiots do with their free time!' _After deciding that he couldn't take anymore of the shitty scene unfolding in front of him, he stepped out of the shadows and cleared his throat.

"I won!"

"It wasn't a freakin' staring game, Yzak!"

"Both of you, just stop it already!"

"Shut up, you whiny loser!"

"Whiny! I'm going to tell on you!"

"Commander's pet..."

Rau sighed and cleared his throat again, this time -much- louder. The three stooges didn't stop whatever they were doing and he felt the familiar beginnings of a migraine (i.e. an -intense- headache). _'With all the money that I stole from the treasury, you'd think that I could've gotten -smarter- minions than these.'_

The three continued their relentless bickering. He expected this kind of behavior from Dearka and Yzak, being the childish morons that they were. Nicol, however, was a different case. He'd always thought that he wouldn't have problems with the soft-spoken, mild-mannered boy. But, apparently, months and months of being cooped up with the other two was rubbing off on him.

Rau felt that if he didn't put a stop to all the noise, he'd pop a blood vessel. "GODDAMNIT! WOULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE F--K UP! YOU SONS OF B-----S DISGUST ME! WHAT THE HELL'S THE F-----G MATTER WITH YOU!"

Realizing that all was quiet now, Rau stopped and took several deep, calming breaths.

"Wow! I never knew your language was so colorfully explicit, Commander," Dearka observed.

"Suck up," Yzak hissed under his breath.

Rau rolled his eyes but the effect was lost because of the fact that he was wearing a mask. So he settled on the next-best-thing: He sneered. "Look, you three, I have a job for you."

Nicol's face lit up at the mention of something to do other than 'hanging out' with Dumb and Dumbass. "A job, sir?"

Yzak rolled his eyes. "Must you repeat it?"

Rau waved a fist threateningly at the two. "Don't force me to stuff this in your mouth to make you shut up!" he snapped. There was silence again. "Good. Now, as I was saying, I need you to do something for me. After this -" he made invisible quotation marks in the air "- mission, my dream of becoming the king will cease to be a dream." He snarled, "So you better not mess this up!"

The three nodded wordlessly. They gave him equally curious stares and waited for him to divulge more.

He paused dramatically. "I need you to kidnap Princess Cagalli."

Three faces simultaneously gaped dumbly at him.

Dearka broke the silence by snorting in disbelief. "That's all? I thought we had to get something big and valuable!"

"She -is- big and valuable, you idiot," Yzak retorted.

Nicol gave Rau a puzzled look. "But... isn't she getting married soon? If we kidnap her, the wedding will be postponed! Or -worse-, get called off! Couldn't we wait until -after- the wedding?"

Rau fought the urge to pound the boy's head on the nearest wall in order to instill some common sense on his thick skull. _'God! Why me? I know I'm an evil villain and all, but this is too much of a punishment!'_ He took a deep breath and once more pushed his lung power to the limit.

"THAT'S THE WHOLE F-----G POINT, YOU F-----G MORON!"

Nicol's eyes widened as his mouth formed a big 'O'.

_'When this is over, I -swear- on my maker's grave that I will never, -ever-, ask help from these idiots ever again,'_ Rau thought inwardly. _'Then again, I think I can get away with cheerfully murdering them.'_

**-**

"Hey, Kira! Get me a glass of cold water!" a sharp voice commanded, obviously directed to the meek, brown-haired young man sitting next to her on the bench.

Kira stood up wordlessly and rushed to the vending machine a good 500 meters away. He ran back to lounging red head and thrust the bottle on her face. "Here, Flay."

Flay Allster took one long look at it before snarling, "It's not cold enough!" Kira stood there, still holding the bottle when Flay raised an eyebrow at Kira, as if to say _'Well? What the hell are you waiting for?'_

Kira merely sighed and ran back to the vending machine. _'If she wasn't so pretty... I'd have stopped hanging out with her...'_ He went as far as to ask for a cup filled with ice on a nearby stall. _'The things I do for - for what? Love? Not likely... Anyway, the things I do for -Flay-...'_

"Um, here. I brought a plastic cup with ice on it," he said timidly.

Flay wrinkled her nose and pushed the cup away. "Ugh. This is disgusting! Here, take it back! Get me juice instead!"

Kira sighed once more, for it was the only thing that a man without a backbone could do. "Whatever you say, Flay."

He ran back but his mind was on other things that he didn't notice an equally pre-occupied young man muttering mindlessly to himself.

Kira didn't notice until -after- he bumped into them and heard a string of curses from the young man who landed on his backside.

"Hey! Watch where you're going, you jerk!" he snarled. He rubbed his behind delicately.

Kira came to his side in a flash. "I'm sorry. Are you hurt?"

The young man finally raised his head to glare at Kira, "Well, nothing seems to be broken but - Holy cow!" and was promptly given the surprise of his lifetime.

Kira gaped at the mirror-like image in front of him. They looked -exactly- alike. Well, except for their respective hair and eye colors. "Wow! You look just like me!"

The person growled. "Hey, are you saying I look like a boy!"

Kira got another surprise. "You mean you're a - a girl?" he sputtered in disbelief. He pulled the -girl- to her feet and looked at her chest discreetly. Yup, the unmistakable bulge there meant she really was a -girl-.

The -girl- brushed away the dirt that might have stuck to her pants and glared at Kira. "Well, what did you think, you dolt? But come to think of it, we do sort of look alike..."

Kira picked up her hat that was knocked off her head due to their collision earlier. "Here, wear your hat again."

The girl complied and peered into his eyes. Her blond hair was partially covered by the hat and the shadows that the hat provided made her eye color darker.

"Wow. The resemblance is uncanny..." Kira observed.

"We could be twins!" the girl squealed, showing her inner girlishness within.

Kira chuckled and thrust his hand forward for a formal hand shake. "By the way, I'm Kira Yamato."

The girl looked at his hand, puzzled, but took it nonetheless. "Huh?"

"My name is Kira," Kira repeated.

The girl fidgeted a little. "Oh. I'm, uh, Cagalli," she said in a feigned nonchalant voice.

Kira's smile became wider. This girl was stealing identities left and right! "Cagalli? Hey! You have the same name as the princess!"

-Cagalli- shifted her weight to her other foot and smiled weirdly.

Realization dawned in. "Wait a minute! You_ -_are- the princess? Cool!"

Cagalli smiled fuller now. She didn't expect -this- kind of reaction. Most people would curtsy and immediately treat her like a God…which she definitely was –not-. "It's not so bad."

Kira gave her an amiable smile and opened his mouth to ask her something. He was interrupted, however, by the arrival of a pink-haired girl carrying to tall plastic cups of frappuccino. Lacus Clyne stopped in her tracks and if not for the frappe's on both her hands, they would have flown to her mouth in shock. "Princess, we have to get - Oh my!"

Cagalli, not one to miss the most curious expression on Lacus' face, snickered and turned to Kira. "Lacus, this is Kira. Kira, Lacus." She gestured to an awestruck Kira. It seemed like Lacus was not the only one who was –impolitely- staring.

"You look just like the Princess..." Lacus breathed. _'Plus, you're male and –way- gorgeous!'_ she added mentally. Realizing what she just thought (proper ladies shouldn't think that way, after all), she blushed.

Kira stood speechless for more or less the same reasons as Lacus'. They stood there, silently (if you ignore Cagalli's snickers) admiring one another, when a loud, grating voice floated across the park. "Kira! Where the hell is my juice?"

Cagalli's head turned sharply to the direction of the voice. "Who's that?"

Kira sadly glanced away from Lacus and sighed. "That's Flay. My...come to think of it, I don't even know what she is to me."

"So she's not your girlfriend…" Cagalli said slyly, more to herself than to Kira. She glanced at her best friend and a plan began to form in her head. A –matchmaking- plan. Well, if she can't find her true love in this lifetime, she'll be damned if she let her best friend experience the same fate!

The red-head banshee shrieked again. "Kira!" She finally saw him and was glaring daggers at Cagalli and Lacus. "I'm waiting! Don't make me come there!"

Kira sighed once more. "Just a minute!" he replied, a tad bit annoyed. "Uh, I have to get going," he said to Lacus and Cagalli. "It was really nice meeting the both of you."

"Jeez! You make it sound as if we won't be seeing each other again!" Cagalli rolled her eyes. "You can come visit us in the palace!"

"Really?" Kira asked, his eyes growing wide. Being invited to the palace by none other than the Princess herself was an honor. It would look very good in his résumé if ever he went looking for a job. Plus, he would see this pink-haired lady again…

Cagalli nodded excitedly, happy that her plan was moving forward. "Yeah. I'll send a carriage for you! Meet us in the park again, same time, the day after tomorrow!"

Kira waved at them. "Bye, Cagalli. Bye, Lacus. It was nice meeting you!"

Cagalli and Lacus watched Kira walk away with the red-head girl giving them murderous glares while admonishing Kira.

"Well, wasn't that nice?" Cagalli commented, waving back at Kira and ignoring Flay, while observing Lacus' reaction at the corner of her eye.

Lacus sighed, a serene smile on her lips. "Yes, he was nice…"

Cagalli laughed and Lacus ignored her, not seeming to have noticed her slip of tongue.

**-**

"Ouch! Quit shoving, Yzak!"

"That's not me, you moron! It's the phlegm-haired freak!"

"Who the hell are you calling a phlegm-haired freak? And I wouldn't shove you, Dearka, if this white-haired asshole didn't shove me in the first place!"

After hearing Rau's ridiculously clichéd scheme, they immediately sought to finish the task. The faster they wrap it up and Rau becomes the king, the faster they can get out of the masked maniac's employ. Maybe with the money they'd make, they'd be able to get themselves to Timbuktu without hassle. Rau's sneers were becoming more murderous with each passing day, in their opinion.

So there they were, all bunched together uncomfortably behind the tall columns in the palace courtyard. Their plan? When the princess decides to get some 'fresh air', they tackle her from behind and take her away. Plain, simple, and direct-to-the-point unlike their commander's plots.

"What time is she planning to come out?" Dearka sighed impatiently. They had been waiting there for hours.

Yzak cursed and then grumbled. "When she reads the note that I made up, she'll come here. Until then, we wait."

"Why'd it have to be tonight? I have an appointment!" Nicol whined. The other two promptly ignored him. He seemed extremely happy that morning for reasons unknown. And then, when Yzak reminded them of their plans for tonight, he sulked.

"How did she get that note?" Dearka asked eager to find a loophole in Yzak's 'plan'.

"Nicol delivered it, of course," Yzak answered promptly, proud that he had thought of this. He made a note to the Princess saying to meet her in the courtyard and signed it as her 'Secret Admirer.' He snickered. Girls were suckers for that kind of stuff.

Nicol scratched his head. "I did?"

Yzak felt his mouth go dry. "Huh? The paper I gave you! Didn't you send it?"

"I thought it was for me! I thought that –my- secret admirer sent it!" Nicol answered.

Silence. And then…

"YOU IDIOT!" _Thunk_.

* * *

_**Next Chapter:** What of Cagalli's impending marriage? Will she meet the prince –before- they say "I do"? Is Cagalli's un-ladylike behavior finally rubbing off on Lacus? Will Kira finally gain a backbone by saying 'No' to Flay? Will he set foot in the palace again? Does Nicol have bad-boy material? Will Dearka regain consciousness? What are Yzak, Dearka and Nicol going to do when they reach Timbuktu after Rau's plans? _

_All these and more in the next chapter of "The Princess and the Pauper"!_

_-_

_**Author's Notes:** After a long hiatus, I finally decided to continue this story. Updates will be much faster than before for those who are following my other stories! I finally got my wish! I got my own typing machine (i.e. a laptop)! Yay! Now my dream of becoming a writer will finally be a reality! –smile-_

_I apologize for not updating much faster. I recently received a review from my other fic. I was happy that the reviewer found my story interesting but I was annoyed when she wrote that I was "ruining" it for them by not updating that story. It is in my full intention to finish my stories one way or another, not only for the people who read it, but also for my peace of mind. I wrote that story four, three years ago. The story, in my opinion, is mediocre and plot-less (like my other stories are any better...). I am thinking of revamping my other stories to fit my growth as a writer. If I do that without planning it thoroughly and while I am uninspired, the result will probably be worse than the original. As I've said before, I don't like half-baked stories._


	3. Finally, They Meet!

**Chapter Three – Finally, They Meet!**

* * *

After Nicol regained consciousness, they decided to move forward their plan with a few modifications. With a flashlight on Yzak's hand and a map on the other, they crept silently on the hallways and proceeded to the Princess' chambers. The castle was quiet and they didn't (thankfully for them) meet any of the roaming guards.

"Hey, Yzak, are we there yet?" Nicol whined.

"Shut the hell up! If you didn't mess up, we'd be at home by now!" Yzak hissed.

Dearka sighed and pointed at a door. "Don't you think it would be wiser to keep silent now that we're –finally- here?" he whispered irritably. "If she wakes up and we mess up, we'd best say goodbye to Timbuktu!"

Yzak muttered something inaudible while Nicol just sighed.

"Okay, who knows how to pick a lock?" Yzak asked. He was met with two blank stares.

Nicol raised his hand. "Why don't we just knock? It would be more polite, not to mention time-efficient."

Dearka rolled his eyes and Yzak growled. "Why the hell do I even bother?"

Nicol sighed and proceeded to knock on the door. His head was promptly bonked by Yzak's fist. Dearka, on the other hand glowered at him.

"Why the hell did you do that?" Yzak hissed.

Nicol was about to answer when the door opened. The three froze and looked at the person who greeted them. "What the heck do you want? It's freakin' two in the morning! Wait…Do I even know you?"

"The hell? We're looking for the princess! This isn't her room!" Dearka said through clenched teeth. He glared at Yzak.

"This –is- the princess' room, you morons!" the blond person growled. "And I –am- the princess! A mad one! Get it through your thick skulls that people usually sleep at this ungodly hour!"

"Huh?" Yzak looked skeptically at the blond boy in the doorway. "You're a guy," he said pointedly.

The 'Princess' snarled and pointed to her chest. "I'm freakin' female! Get it?"

Dearka nodded and said, "Well, if that's the case…" then he thrust a handkerchief in the princess' shocked mouth and then she fell unconscious. "Mission accomplished!" he grinned.

* * *

Lacus Clyne pursed her lips. She had to remind Cagalli that a lady is always punctual. She had been waiting in the library for quite some time now. They always had lessons at promptly nine o'clock in the morning. Cagalli knew that, she didn't need to be reminded every single time.

Finally deciding that Cagalli needed some telling to, Lacus got up and proceeded to Cagalli's room. She knocked, but there was no answer. _'She probably slept late last night,'_ she reasoned. She sighed and twisted the doorknob, thankful that it was open.

She frowned when she saw that the bed was empty. She then proceeded to look for the Princess in the bathroom. She looked around the whole room but Cagalli was there.

She was now worried more than she was annoyed. They would be meeting with the Prince later in the afternoon and it would be bad if Cagalli didn't show up. She bit her lip worriedly.

_'I know that Cagalli doesn't want to get married with someone she barely knows! But she wouldn't dare run away. She cares for Orb more than she cares for her own happiness. Something is wrong…'_ she thought anxiously. She needed to do something. She couldn't tell the King! It would cause uproar. No, it was best to keep it quiet for now.

In the meantime, she had to find a suitable replacement. Then it hit her. _'Kira!'_

* * *

Kira looked around excitedly. He was going to the palace! He was going to see Lacus again! It was a stroke of luck that Flay had a family affair that day. He honestly couldn't understand what it was that made him say yes to every damn thing that Flay asked him to do. Maybe it just wasn't in his nature to say no.

He stood up abruptly when he caught sight of a pink-haired lady walking briskly in his direction. He tried to give her a smile, but it was replaced by a worried look when he saw the look on Lacus face. It was a mixture of anxiety, desperation and something else he couldn't decipher. Whatever it was that was troubling the young tutor, it definitely wasn't good.

"What's the matter, Lacus?" he asked, concerned. He led her to the bench and they sat down.

She looked up at him. "Cagalli is missing! She was supposed to meet her fiancé today and if she doesn't show up, the other King would think that she doesn't want to get married and would most likely call off the wedding! We can't have that! He's the last hope of Orb!"

"That's…that's bad," Kira commented while frowning. "Is there anything that I could do to help?"

Lacus' face became unreadable and she smiled eerily. "Yes, there is something you could do and I would appreciate it greatly if you would help me."

Kira smiled, glad that Lacus thought of him. "What can I do?"

"Pretend to be Cagalli."

* * *

He couldn't take it anymore. He -just- couldn't take it anymore. About a couple of hours ago, he didn't believe in hell. But after experiencing just -ten- hours with a certain blonde she-devil, he honestly believed that hell existed after all, and it was right here on earth.

It existed, all right, in the form of one royally pissed off Princess of Orb, Cagalli Yula Athha.

Dearka shuddered at the deadly glare that was coming from Her Majesty. He still could not honestly believe that this was -the- Princess of Orb. She looked much feminine in the pictures, that was for sure.

And the pictures didn't try to kick him in the groin every time he got within a leg's reach.

"How are you going to eat if you keep on kicking me?" he asked helplessly. He indicated the food-laden tray on the table beside him for emphasis.

The Princess snarled and he heard muffled swear words. She was tied to a chair near the wall, her hands tied behind her and her mouth gagged. They forgot to tie her feet together, never knowing that it could possibly lead to their downfall. Literally speaking. Actually, it was Yzak who forgot to tie her feet, but after a few choice (curse) words from their silver-haired comrade, Nicol and Dearka took the initiative to shut up.

Well, it led to Nicol's downfall, that's for sure.

Nicol was just standing guard there and peering at the Princess' seemingly sleeping face when suddenly, - WHAM! –

Now they were one person short as Nicol was spending the night at the hospital. He only hoped that Nicol's hopes to procreate were not dashed. If he hadn't seen the pain in Nicol's face, he would've taken pictures of it…for blackmail purposes of course! Nicol's eyes actually -crossed-.

His shift should've ended a few hours ago, but now, he was still stuck in the basement, filling in for Nicol. Dearka looked at his watch and gave a little frustrated noise. Two more hours. Two more friggin' hours of watching the groin-kicking, she-devil.

Rau Le Creuset, being the supposed genius that he claimed to be, gave them specific instructions to never, -ever-, leave Cagalli out of their sight. Not even for a nanosecond. Dearka snickered when he remembered that Nicol actually asked Rau if they were allowed to blink. He wasn't sure if the green-haired boy was being sarcastic or not, but sarcasm was lost in Nicol. He looked much too girlish and innocent.

The Princess was still cursing him.

Dearka snorted. The she-devil was even manlier than Nicol was. "Keep cursing, you won't be eating!" he warned in a sing-song voice.

* * *

Just a simple word. Just one measly word brought him to his current predicament.

"Yes, yes, we have to choose carefully. Cagalli always looks great in green."

He sighed in relief. Well, at least it wasn't a girly color. Like pink. He looked at Lacus. She was just so… -pink-. _'Well, it's not like pink is a bad color. It just doesn't suit – er – manly men! Like me!'_

He looked around Cagalli's room and snorted inwardly. _'Well, manly men like me and Cagalli.'_

Lacus had smuggled him inside the castle and if he wasn't a little dazed from his decision to act like a girl for several days, he would have actually appreciated it. Lacus wasted no time showing her the sights and instead hurriedly led him to the Princess' chambers. If he hadn't known better, he would say that a boy lived in it. It was messy, there was a basketball hoop behind the door (for god's sake!), there were no make up or beauty products on the table, there was even a metal baseball bat beside the bed. Cagalli's bed was messy (for lack of better word) and it wasn't frilly and lacy, unlike girls' beds.

Lacus took out a green dress from the closet.

He gulped. This was it. "A-a d-dress?"

"Yes," Lacus answered vaguely. "A dress. And a wig, too. A blonde wig…"

"A -blonde- wig?" he whispered nervously.

Lacus flashed him a weird look. Kira blushed and smiled apologetically. He had been repeating every single word that Lacus was saying. _'How embarrassing._' "I'm sorry. It's just that, it's not everyday that you dress up as a girl and impersonate someone you've just met."

Lacus smiled encouragingly at him. "Don't worry. It's easier than it looks. You just have to wear this dress when Cagalli's fiancé gets here. As for everyday clothes, well, you saw how impossibly boyish Cagalli is."

Kira suppressed his laughter. Cagalli didn't act anything like a princess. Something was bothering him though… "Have you seen her fiancé?"

"No," Lacus answered sadly. "This is the first time that they will meet, I'm afraid."

Kira knew he should mind his own business, but he had to know. "Well, how does she feel about this?"

"Cagalli knows her responsibilities as the Princess of Orb," Lacus said vaguely. She continued fixing everything that Kira would need: the green dress, the blonde wig, the amber-colored contact lenses, the stilettos ('_How do they wear that?_') and the (_'gulp!'_) make-up.

Kira sighed. "Well, I -did- promise to help you out… so, I guess that's my responsibility, huh?" Well, in reality, he just said that in the hopes of seeing Lacus smile again. For some reason, whenever she smiled, it seemed like he can endure dressing up as a tomboyish princess over and over again.

And he wasn't disappointed. Lacus smiled. "Thanks a lot, Kira. I really appreciate this."

* * *

Rau Le Creuset was extremely happy. His plans were going right for once. He had one minion down. Thanks to the Princess, he wouldn't have to dirty his hands to kill them. Well, 'extremely happy' was an understatement. He was feeling deliriously cheerful.

He glanced at the worried face of Uzumi Nala Athha. Yes, yes. 'Worried' was the appropriate word for him. He looked ready to jump at any given moment. And the reason for the soon-to-be ex-King's predicament was not even in the room.

The Princess' royal fiancé did not even bother to show up and left everything to his assistant. Rau snorted inwardly, _'That goes to show how much he cares. NOT. HAHAHA! Even better!'_

But there was something suspicious about the way the assistant kept on glancing at the guard beside him… Oh well, it wasn't any of his business.

His business involved getting things running! He was in heaven! Just a couple more minutes… Just a couple more and he would be crowned KING! His dreams were finally coming true!

He wanted so -badly- to laugh out loud. But no, he had enormous self-control. He felt his mouth twitch in a sneer. Well, he'll settle for that. But -after- he gets crowned, he'll laugh all he wants! However loud he wants! HAHA!

They can search for the Princess all they want. They'll never find her!

* * *

His feet were cursing him. He could almost hear it. He didn't know why he chose to dress up like this. He only just realized that being a guard was -hard-. He vowed to give the guards back home a raise. He fought the urge to sigh. He had heard from the princes from other lands that his journey would be futile. The Princess of Orb was just too much for words.

He found her fascinating. From what he had heard, Princess Cagalli Yula Athha was no ordinary princess. For one, she loathed all things girly. Like gowns for example. She didn't care much for pleasantries and frankly said what was on her mind.

She was unlike any girl that he had ever met. And that made him all the more determined to meet the Princess.

But it appeared like the Princess was not showing up. His assistant gave him a subtle glance. He could clearly read the disbelief and impatience on Arthur Trine's face. He turned his head a little to the side to indicate that they were going to wait for a couple more minutes.

"King Uzumi, we will wait until five o'clock in the afternoon. If the Princess does not show up, the wedding will be postponed," Arthur explained tartly.

The King glanced warily at the person on his right and whispered fiercely. The tall man nodded and exited the room without another word. Then, the King straightened up and turned to Arthur. "Don't worry Mr. Trine. I'm sure that Cagalli has a very good reason as to why she is late."

"She'd better," Arthur whispered inaudibly. He gave a tight smile and then, kept his silence.

He shifted his foot from one foot to another. He, too, had to agree with Arthur on that one. He chanced a glance at the person on his right with the funny-looking mask. Talk about a fashion statement. Still, no matter how funny the mask looked, he found the person creepy and suspicious. Maybe it was that sneer…

His musings were interrupted by the loud opening of the door. He saw three people enter the room. One was the tall man who exited the room a while ago, the other was a pink-haired lady, and the third one was, there was just no mistaking it. She was even prettier in person than in the pictures. He stopped his mouth from dropping wide open.

"May I present to you, Princess Cagalli Yula Athha of Orb."

The Princess gave a fleeting smile as she proceeded to walk towards her father…

And promptly tripped on her shoes, falling flat on her face.

He stifled a laugh, he felt like his stomach would burst. Yes, Princess Cagalli Yula Athha of Orb was -not- an ordinary princess.

* * *

_**Next Chapter:** Will Kira ever get up? Will Cagalli escape? Will Nicol recover and have kids? And will the author finally -name- the not-so-mystery King? Watch out for the next chapter of 'The Princess and the Pauper'!__

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_**Author's Notes:** A big THANK YOU to all those who reviewed! I thought that maybe you'd have forgotten about this little fic that I started a couple of months ago… It must be a miracle! I updated on -time-! Well, I didn't actually state that I would update after a week, but nevertheless! It is a huge step for me. Maybe I'd finally get my juices flowing for 'Escape…' haha. I wish. I've been meaning to ask, what the heck does IMAO, RTFLMAO, etc. etc. The only abbreviation that I know is 'LOL'. I really wish you could help me with that one. Thanks!_

_Shameless Plug: Check out my other fic, 'Seasonal Changes'! It's slightly different from what I usually write… Okay, okay! It's -very- different, since it's an Athrun-Lacus fic. But, well, I'd just like to know what other people think. Maybe it's crap. Maybe it isn't. I'm planning another Athrun-Cagalli fic to assure myself that they -are- made for each other. Just -planning-. Okay, I confess, just -plotting-. I don't know why! I'm terribly traumatized by the events in GSEED Destiny! Phase 30 is the furthest that I got. Just a question. What the heck is happening to Athrun and Cagalli! I have to know! I have to! Heh. Pardon my temporary insanity… _

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_**Bonus: **Yes, yes, I know it's been done before…but if you'd like to see some 'bloopers' that I wrote, please indicate it in your review and I will be adding them at the end of each chapter as a sort of 'bonus.' I'm not going to upload it in a new story… I have plenty of 'works in progress' and I wouldn't want to burden myself more. It's just a sort of, omake. Here's a sample… _

_-_

**Phase 20 – On a Calm Day**

**Scene where Athrun visits Lacus.**

Lacus: I'm rather fond of him (Kira), actually.

Athrun: (_eyes open wide in shock_) You're fond of him?

Lacus: (_puzzled_) Yes…

Athrun: (_sighs in relief_) Phew! Great! I'm rather fond of his sister, too, actually.

Director: (_frustrated_) CUT! Athrun! You haven't met with Cagalli yet! Technically, you and Lacus are still supposed to be together!

Athrun: (_pouts_) I just thought I'd make things clear with her...


	4. Something Fishy Going On

_**Author's Notes: **Okay, before anything else… this is an AC fic. Well, it's just that somebody asked me if it's an AK fic… (sheepish smile) Sorry, but, (ahehehe) I'm not exactly fond of shonen-ai or yaoi fics… Okay! Now that we got that all cleared up… On with the fic! And Arthur Trine is the fukuchou or the executive officer of the Minerva. But for this parody, he will be Athrun's assistant. I chose him because he fitted the role._

_Wow, I am updating regularly, am I not? Haha! This is a first! **Thanks to the reviewers! Here's a nice, long chapter for all of you!**_

_**-**_

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam SEED nor the story of the Prince/Princess and the Pauper._

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**Chapter Four – Something Fishy Going On**

* * *

Kira could feel his face heat up. It was those damn shoes! The heels were so friggin' high! He quickly stood up and gave an uncertain smile. "Oh my!" he said in a high-pitched voice. He winced inwardly at how sissy his voice sounded. He gave an awkward laugh. "Well, at least we're sure that the floor is clean!"

The King looked horrified but quickly masked it with booming -fake- laughter. "Ah! Cagalli! You always make the funniest jokes!" Kira noticed that there was a blond man standing next to the King. He could swear that the man's eyes (even though they were hidden by a funny-looking mask) were following his every move, which he found slightly unnerving. It did not help that the masked man's mouth was hanging quite openly.

Lacus gave him an assuring pat on the back and he forced a smile on his face. He vaguely wondered where Cagalli's fiancé was. He didn't have to wait long for the answer. The green-haired man standing next to a blue-haired sentry gave him a forced smile.

"Good day to you, er, Princess Cagalli. The King could not come today because of some personal reasons. And you were – er – late, so to speak, so we propose the meeting to be postponed until tomorrow, if that is all right with you."

Kira stared blankly at the man until Lacus gently nudged him. "Oh! Oh, that would be quite all right. I look forward to it then!" Kira silently prayed that Cagalli would return somewhere within the next 24 hours.

The green-haired man exchanged a few words with King Uzumi then bowed. The blue-haired bodyguard gave him a small smile and then they exited the throne room with Kisaka in tow.

"My God! Cagalli! Where on earth have you been?" the King asked him. He honestly didn't know what to tell him. Thankfully, Lacus was beside him. "It's a good thing that your fiancé was mysteriously absent! Even so, we were this close from losing our rich benefactor!"

Kira opened his mouth and closed it quickly. What the heck was he supposed to answer again? He flashed Lacus a slightly panicked look. Lacus caught on quick.

"If I may speak Your Majesty?" Lacus began tentatively. The King riveted his attention to her and gave her a tired nod. "Well, the Princess was having – er – pre-wedding jitters. She just wanted to look her best and well -"

The masked man interrupted Lacus, "Is that it? Erm, are you sure that that is all?"

Kira got the surprise of his life when Lacus actually -narrowed- her eyes at the masked man! Lacus, who wasn't -supposed- to even possess a single, suspicious bone in her body, was eyeing the masked man apprehensively.

Kira finally decided to speak up. It would look thoroughly suspicious if he just stood there and let Lacus do the talking. The -real- Cagalli, based on what he saw, didn't let anyone do the talking for her. "Well, that is the main reason," he answered in a fake hoarse voice to mask his own. "That and, well, I have a soar throat."

"It seemed pretty fine to me a while ago," the masked man sneered.

Kira felt a lump form in his throat.

Lacus gave the masked man a sweet smile. "Well, Mr. Le Creuset. It was obvious that Princess Cagalli was trying so hard to sound normal so that our visitors would not notice."

It was a battle of wills. With the masked man sneering and Lacus smiling sweetly, none seemed willing to back down. For Kira, it was a weird glaring match.

For King Uzumi, however, it was time for his beloved 'daughter' to rest. "Well, honey, why don't you rest for now? You have a big day tomorrow."

Kira, a bit disconcerted at the fact that he was called 'honey' by a complete stranger, only managed a weak smile.

* * *

As Lacus was leading Kira to the princess' chambers, she couldn't help but think about Rau's sneer. _'There's something fishy, something not right, about that sneer…'_ But who was she kidding? Anything that comes from Rau Le Creuset screams of something fishy! Maybe he had something to do with Cagalli's disappearance? Rau looked as white as her bed sheets when he saw Kira dressed as Cagalli. And it seemed like she was the only one that noticed! It looked like she was the only one whom Cagalli can count on.

She heard the person by her side struggling to walk in those ridiculously-high high heels. Well, her and Kira, at least. She was extremely thankful that Kira came when he did. It seemed like, destiny or something. Without him, she didn't know what would happen to Cagalli's wedding and Orb, in general.

She still couldn't believe that Kira had agreed to pretend to be Cagalli. And what's more, wear those high heels! Even Cagalli wouldn't wear those! She thought that it would just rot away in the princess' closet. At first, Lacus had asked Kira as a joke, she hadn't expected that he'd take it seriously.

At the thought of Kira, Lacus giggled.

Kira flashed her a confused grin. "Eh… something wrong, Lacus?"

Lacus waved a hand nonchalantly. "Oh, no, nothing's wrong."

"Well, if you say so," Kira gave her an uncertain smile. "So, um, may I change into something comfortable now that we're in front of Cagalli's room?"

Lacus turned her attention to the oak door that Kira was pointing at. "Oh! We're here!" she gave Kira a sheepish smile. "Sorry about that. I didn't notice. Of course, you can. And make it quick, I have to tell you something very important!"

Kira nodded earnestly and proceeded to the huge bathroom at the left side of the room. Lacus, on the other hand, closed and locked the door. After that, she settled on one of the armchairs in the room and waited for Kira to come out. After a few minutes, Kira came out of the bathroom, dressed in his normal clothes, and with a relieved expression on his face.

Once again, Lacus found herself awestruck at how…handsome Kira looked. His face was very gentle and not too overpowering. He was muscled, but in an understated way. And his eyes, she loved looking at them. All too suddenly, she felt her face heat up. _'God, who am I kidding? I like him!'_ she thought giddily. But she shook her head, _'No, this is wrong! I should be worrying about Cagalli! I'll worry about my love life -after- this whole affair is over!'_

"Er, Lacus? Is everything alright? I thought you had something to tell me?" Kira asked tentatively. He sat at the armchair across from Lacus.

"Oh! Yes!" Lacus blurted out. _'What was I going to tell him again?'_ A sneering man flashed in her mind's eye and she narrowed her eyes at the thought. _'Rau Le Creuset!'_ Seeing the curious look on Kira's face, she decided to plunge in. "Do you remember the blond masked man in the lobby?"

"How could I forget?" Kira muttered dryly. "He was looking at me like I was a piece of meat…"

Lacus raised an eyebrow at that. "You can see his eyes through the mask?"

"Um, well, I was speaking figuratively. I suppose I should've said that I -felt- him looking at me."

Lacus gave him a wry smile. "Usually, the first thing that people notice in him is his sneer…"

"And his funny-looking mask," Kira finished for her.

"Well, that, too," Lacus giggled. "Anyway, I think he has something to do with Cagalli's disappearance. I'm still not sure; I have to find concrete evidence."

"Aside from his suspicious sneers?" Kira mumbled.

"So, I'm going to have to leave you here for awhile. I have to go do some investigating!" Lacus explained. She wasn't sure if Kira would agree with her plans. Aside from having to dress up like a girl, leaving him alone to fend for himself seemed too much. She unconsciously bit her lip anxiously.

Kira's eyes widened at the realization. "Er, what about you? Won't it be too dangerous?"

Lacus blinked at that. She hadn't expected that answer. She was anticipating somewhere along the lines of, 'Are you nuts, lady? The hell I will!' But it seemed that she was very wrong. Instead of that, he was being incredibly nice by worrying over her. He was just too sweet for words. "You don't have to worry about me, Kira. I'll just snoop around. You should worry about yourself. We need to prepare for your -real- meeting with Cagalli's royal fiancé!"

Kira gave her an uncertain smile. "Oh. -That-. Can't I come with you and, you know, keep you safe while you snoop around?"

Lacus mock glared at him. "I wouldn't want to endanger the Princess' life! It is the job of us lowly servants to ensure her safety! How could I even ask her to accompany me on such a dangerous mission?"

Kira pouted cutely. "I'm -not- a princess."

Lacus laughed at that. "You're starting to sound too much like Cagalli!"

* * *

Yzak rolled his eyes. And suddenly, totally unexpectedly, he felt the room spin. What in the blue hell was happening to him? He gripped the edge of the table for support.

"You got dizzy?" Dearka asked nonchalantly. Without waiting for a reply, he snorted. "Well, what did you expect? You've been rolling your eyes in exasperation for over five minutes!"

Yzak tried to glare at his so-called friend but he stopped himself. _'First, close eyes. Then, take a deep breath,'_ he instructed himself mentally. After composing himself, he flashed Dearka the nastiest glare that he could muster. "If you don't shut her up, I'll shut her up -for good-!"

The Princess kicked her right foot violently and a shoe came loose, hitting Dearka on the head. Dearka threw her an exasperated look, along with the shoe. Then he continued his bickering with Yzak. Cagalli visibly seethed at having been ignored and having her shoe thrown back at her (missing her by mere inches), but the two men were too caught up in their bickering to notice.

"It's your shift! Why do I need to do that?" Dearka complained. "You just bullied me into accompanying you since you're too scared!"

"Am not!"

"Are, too!"

Yzak opened his mouth to answer when he caught himself just in time. He wasn't a freakin' child! It was so like Dearka to cook up things like these. "I take it you're expecting me to say, 'Am not!'?"

Dearka grinned. "You just did."

Yzak cursed. "Would you cease this stupidity immediately? It's bad enough that I need to guard this royal pain-in-the-ass without you adding to the mix!"

"Then why don't you send me upstairs!"

"And suffer alone? Hah! It's your fault that you didn't tie up her feet!"

"Why you…! You were the one in charge of that body part!"

Yzak was about to put that certain body part on Dearka's stomach when they heard the front door slam open. He turned puzzled eyes at the blond boy. "I thought that Nicol wouldn't be home until tomorrow?"

Dearka shrugged and turned to go upstairs, Yzak following closely. They tiptoed silently and were shocked when light flooded the room. "Hello." The newcomer greeted in an eerie voice. He then stepped out of the shadows and sneered. It was their boss, Rau Le Creuset.

"Cripes! You scared us!" Yzak exclaimed.

Dearka nodded in agreement as he clutched his chest. His heart was hammering wildly in his ribcage.

"You'd be even more surprised by what I'm going to tell you," Rau said with an eerie sneer on his face. "Guess who I met in the palace today?"

"The rich King that the princess is supposed to marry," Yzak answered matter-of-factly.

Rau sneered. "Guess again," he said in a mock sing-song voice.

"Erm, the tooth fairy?" Dearka asked.

Two pairs of eyes riveted to his face. "I'll pretend you didn't say that," Yzak said matter-of-factly.

Rau gave an impatient sigh. "Well, seeing as the art of sarcasm is lost on you, I will just tell you morons without further ado that I saw her royal Hiney-ness, Princess Cagalli Yula Athha of Orb at the palace today, looking as boyish and -not kidnapped- as ever! I thought she was here with you!" he seethed.

"She was! I mean, she -is- here with us!" Yzak retorted defensively. "You can even see for yourself!"

"I told you she shouldn't see me or know of my involvement in these plans! How could I claim the glory of 'saving' her?" Rau asked, frustrated.

"I assure you, though, the little she-devil's right there."

"Okay, so who's the chick that the pink tutor brought?" Rau wondered out loud. It looked terribly like the Princess. But it was also puzzling that she didn't say anything about being kidnapped. She was an impostor, alright, and he, Rau Le Creuset, would make sure that her true identity would be revealed! But how? By showing the true Princess? It wasn't yet time… _'Come on brilliant mind, think!'_

"Chick? Pink tutor? What the hell are you blathering about?" Yzak narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Everything that came from Rau after all screamed of something fishy. "Anyway, what are we going to the blonde brat downstairs?" Yzak asked.

"Feed her! And don't let her get out of your sight! I'll come by again tomorrow to check up on you morons. Now remember all that I have told you, alright?" Rau reminded them as he got his coat from the coat rack. He sneered one last time and then he was gone.

"What was that all about?" Dearka voiced out.

Yzak shrugged. "Beats me."

* * *

_'This is the life…'_ Kira thought happily. Lacus had left him and he was freer to do as he pleased. Now don't get him wrong, he -was- worried about her and Cagalli but this was the first time that he'd set foot in a place as expensive as this. He couldn't help himself. All his life, poverty has always stood in the way of his dreams. He just wanted to experience how the other side lived, even for just a day.

He plopped on the queen-sized bed and marveled at how soft it felt. He fought the urge to jump up and down on it. As he lay on the bed, he thought about how lucky Cagalli is. Or rather, how -unlucky-. Sure, she had everything, but along with it came the responsibilities. She was to be married to someone she hadn't even -met-. He couldn't imagine that ever happening to him.

His eyes widened upon remembering what awaited him tomorrow. He abruptly sat up and groaned. He was going to meet Cagalli's fiancé! The rich King! He couldn't bear to think of the possible things that might happen tomorrow. He glared at the high heels piled innocently near the bathroom. At least, that was one thing he wouldn't have to think of. He swore that he would never, ever, ever in his life wear those again.

His thoughts drifted to Lacus and he sighed blissfully. After this whole event is over, he had made up his mind to finally ask Lacus out. He just couldn't give up on her because of his shyness! He was getting himself a backbone!

Satisfied at that, he drifted off to sleep filled with dreams about a certain pink-haired tutor.

* * *

Cagalli was -beyond- royally pissed. First, they thought she was a -boy-. Then, they let her inhale some nasty stuff that made her head spin (she heard the blond guy say that it was 'Yzak's' socks, but she was too mortified to think about it). Then, they tied her up in the middle of a smelly basement. And if that wasn't enough, they started calling her names! She had a name, for god's sake! And it started with a 'P' for Pissed-off Cagalli Yula Athha of Orb!

Fortunately for them and unfortunately for her, her arms were tied tightly that she felt her hands were turning blue. Plus, she was gagged. She could very well take being tied up but being gagged! That was very inhumane! How could she talk (and curse) with her mouth gagged like that? Fortunately for her and unfortunately for them, they forgot to tie up her feet. So she settled on kicking them to oblivion the moment they got near her.

She had no idea who would dare do this to her. The three guys who kidnapped her were surely just minions. How could they think of such a plan? It was obvious they were morons! Either way, she had to get out of there! What would her father think? And the engagement?

She groaned at the thought. She was supposed to meet her fiancé that day. Was it day or night? Being cooped up in this place where the sun never seemed to shine made her body clock go haywire. Her father would have a fit! What would happen to Orb? They needed that marriage to assure the alliance of the two kingdoms, in order to pay Orb's debts.

She roamed the room with her eyes as she thought of a plan to escape. The only way out was the stairs that led to the first floor landing as there were no windows. Her thoughts were interrupted when the two boys came down. She snorted, or at least tried to. They were idiots! They even let her see their faces. Any good kidnapper would never dare to show their faces to their victims. They were talking quite animatedly about some place called Timbuktu.

She glared at them hoping that the phrase, 'if looks could kill' would come true for just a god-given minute. And then it hit her, the plan that is. She forced her vocal chords to let out a believable, helpless and -feminine- whimper.

The silver-haired boy paused from talking and smirked at her. "So, you -are- a girl after all."

Her blood boiled at that statement but she forced herself to remain calm in order for her plan to work. She gave them each a distressed look and mumbled pitifully on her gag.

The blond boy raised an eyebrow at her. "Yzak, I think she's trying to tell us something."

The silver-haired boy, Yzak, snorted at that. "Well, duh? She's been trying to tell us something ever since she woke up! Probably something along the lines of, 'You f(bleep)ers. Get me the hell out of here!'"

Cagalli had to admit that he was right but now was not the time. She shook her head vehemently and continued whimpering. Dearka flashed her a concerned look. _'Well, at least this one seems thick enough to believe my acting skills,'_ she thought dryly.

"Why don't we remove the gag for a moment to ask what is it that she wants?" Dearka suggested.

Yzak snorted. "And have her screaming at the top of her lungs? No way in hell!"

Cagalli continued making noises in the hopes of irritating Yzak. Why won't he listen for even a freaking second to his comrade? This plan was turning out to be more frustrating for her!

Yzak shot her a death glare. "Will you shut the f(bleep)k up! I can't think straight with all the noise that you're producing!"

Cagalli ignored him happily and continued making whimpering noises as loud as her gag would allow. Well, even if her plan did not work, seeing the silver-haired kid as frustrated as she was feeling would be worth it, anyway.

"Alright, already! Just take the freaking gag off her for a few goddamn seconds! If she screams, I'm stuffing my sock on her mouth again! Just make her shut up!" Yzak exclaimed angrily.

Dearka grinned, but after catching sight of Cagalli's unbound feet, quickly wiped the smirk off his face. "-I'm- going to untie her?" he said weakly.

"Argh!" Yzak threw up his hands in frustration and stomped upstairs.

Dearka shot Cagalli a wary look. "Now, I'm going to take off your gag, but you must promise me that you will stay quiet -and- that you won't kick me. Deal?"

Cagalli smiled through the gag and nodded her head fervently. Dearka approached her cautiously and poked her once. Twice. Thrice. She glared at him. Dearka laughed nervously and proceeded to remove the gag. Then he immediately backed four feet away from Cagalli.

"There, that's better," Cagalli said, her voice hoarse from not being able to talk for hours. She moved her jaw to stretch her sore facial muscles. "I just want to tell you that I need to go to the bathroom."

"Now?"

"Now."

"Oh, okay," Dearka said, moving forward to untie her. "You should've just told me sooner! What if you'd peed in your pants? That would mean more work for me!"

Cagalli rolled her eyes. Talk about stupidity. "Look, can you just speed up and let me do whatever I have to do?"

Cagalli fought the urge to squeal in delight; her plan was finally moving forward! Just a little more…she could almost taste her freedom. Dearka led her to the bathroom and stood there, holding the door. She tried to close it but he had a firm grip on it. She glared at him and tried to pull it again, to no avail. Dearka grinned maliciously at her. "You know, our boss said to never let you out of our sight. Not even for a nanosecond."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm going to pee, you pervert, and if you don't remove your hands, I'll just slam the door on them. Or would you prefer a kick to a place in your pants where the sun doesn't shine?"

Dearka winced, remembering the look of pain in Nicol's face. "I-I was just kidding, you know." Then he removed his hands from the door and more than willingly closed it, to put some barrier between his groin and the tomboyish princess' legs.

Cagalli smiled in relief. Now to put her plan to action. As she expected, there was a window on the wall behind the toilet bowl. And it looked like she would just be able to squeeze in it. She locked the door behind her and immediately set to action.

After a lot of squeezing, struggling, muffled cursing and huffing…

FREEDOM!

* * *

_**Next Chapter: **Will Kira ever get the chance to jump up and down on Cagalli's bed? What is Lacus up to? What is Rau up to? Will Cagalli reach the palace in time just as Kira had hoped? And where the heck is that freakin' rich King? Watch out for this in the next chapter of, 'The Princess and the Pauper!'_

* * *

_**Author's Notes: **Wow, this has got to be the longest chapter yet! I'm so very sorry that the rich King is nowhere to be found! But next chapter, he will definitely be there! He and Kira will finally meet! And forgive me if this story is getting quite long. It's supposed to be finished by now…after all, parodies are supposed to be like that. Short and funny. But I don't know what happened! This story has a life of its own! It's writing itself! Gyaah! Frankenstein's monster!_

_Thanks for all the nice reviews! To: **kaurama-kasuki** (yes, I updated, finally! And thanks for the kind words!), **kandida** (glad you liked that part!), **Aries Stephastone** (just a clarification, it's a shame but, it was Nicol who got kicked by Cagalli… anyway, that would be a very plausible version of a curse from Kira), **jenniferseedlover** (hmm, I'm not sure yet, but I don't think they'll be siblings in this fic), **MyouseiSeed** (I think so, too! Thanks for reading my fics! I really appreciate that you take the time to read it!), **TotalAnimeGirl** (Glad you liked the bonus, here's another one!), **cottoncandy411** (here's an update! Thanks!), **Cagalli Yula Athha Fangirl** (thanks for the info! Long reviews like yours are highly appreciated! Thank you very much! By the way, are you Japanese?), **KariHP** (er…as I said, I'm not a huge fan of shonen-ai or yaoi for that matter… thanks for reading my fic, anyway!), **IYGU** (like I said, Arthur Trine is the executive officer of the Minerva. Here's another round of bloopers! Thanks for reading this!), **pup1995** (Here's an update! Thanks for reading this!)_

* * *

_**Bonus: **Well, even if only a few asked for it… And this time, there are two! This is dedicated to all my reviewers! Take this as a sort of thanks!_

**Phase 30 – Flashing Blades**

**Scene where Kira and Athrun "kill" each other.**

Athrun: KIRA!

KIRA: ATHRUN!

Athrun: KIRA!

KIRA: ATHRUN!

Athrun: KIRA!

KIRA: ATHRUN!

ATHRUN: KI -

Director: CUT! (_angry_) Gundamnit! You forgot your lines didn't you!

Kira and Athrun: (_sheepish smile_) Ahehehe…

Director: Don't give me that look! That works only for your fan girls. (_coldly_) And I am neither your fan nor am I a girl.

_-_

**Phase 42 – Lacus Sorties**

**Scene where Athrun confronts his father.**

Patrick: …It'll end! The war will end once all the Naturals are exterminated! Have you forgotten about what they did to Junius Seven, you forgetful, simple-minded, love-struck, traitorous, fickle-minded, idiotic bastard?

Athrun: (_eyebrows rise in shock_) Hey! That wasn't in the script!

Patrick: Yeah? Well, I've been meaning to say that for quite a while! You disappear all of a sudden without even telling me anything! Have you forgotten about your curfew, young man? Your mother and I were worried sick!

Athrun: (_teary-eyed_) Well, you could have told me nicely! Or you could have just spanked me like the good old days! Physical wounds may heal but wounds from the heart sometimes never do!

Patrick: (_raises eyebrow_) Well, if that's the case… (_takes out a gun from a passing plot hole_) You're too old for spanks anyway…

Athrun: (_eyes open wide in shock_) What the - ? Hey! I was only -joking-!

Director: CUT! Would you two, please, PLEASE, stop the father-son drama! It's driving me insane! (_to his assistant_) Keep that, we'll just edit that part…


	5. Meet the Young and Handsome King

_**Disclaimer: **Even though I forget to write this part most of the time, please rest assured that I do not own Gundam SEED._

_

* * *

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**Chapter Five – Meet the Young and Handsome King**

* * *

Cagalli jumped and landed gracefully and noiselessly on the grass. She squinted to survey her new surroundings. It was very dark but she could see outlines that looked suspiciously like tall trees and she could hear several scary noises in the distance. It seemed just like she was in – _'A forest!'_ she fought the urge to scream in frustration. She managed to escape but she was in a freakin' forest! What luck! 

_'Okay, don't panic Cagalli. You can get out of this…hopefully alive. All you have to do is to wait for morning to come.'_ She briefly heard Yzak cursing from what she presumed to be the living room. _'Okay, maybe -not- until morning…_'

She glanced at her surroundings and she was relieved to see that her eyes had adjusted to the dark. There were trees surrounding her, but she could see a path through them. The trees looked quite scary in the dark… and who knew what sort of creatures inhabited the forest during nighttime!

"Hey! Are you finished yet?" she heard Dearka's muffled voice ask. "I can hear your struggling from here! You should've told me from the beginning that you wanted to take a dump!"

Cagalli could feel her veins pop in anger. She fought the urge to march – er – crawl back in there and dump her fist in his face. She took a deep calming breath. After managing to compose herself, she bit her lip uncertainly. It was now or never. Was she willing to stay behind and wait for her non-existent prince to save her like a damsel in distress? Or was she ready to go forward in the unknown and save her butt herself? _'Well, I never really liked fairy tales… Plus, I'd be damned if I consider myself a damsel in distress!'_

She started walking forward.

* * *

"Oi! What's taking you so long?" Dearka pounded the door irritably. He had been waiting outside for almost fifteen goddamn minutes! "Hey!" 

As usual, he heard Yzak before he saw him. "What the f(bleep)k is going on here?"

Dearka rolled his eyes. Yzak's language was always colorful with all those colorful expletives. "Look, she wanted to use the bathroom, so I let her."

Yzak narrowed his eyes. "How long has she been in there?"

Dearka rolled his eyes. "For fifteen minutes! Honestly! I knew girls take a very, very -long- time doing their affairs inside the bathroom, but I didn't know it was this long!" He knocked forcefully on the door for the nth time. "Hey!"

"Fifteen minutes?" Yzak echoed in a weak voice.

"Yes! Fifteen f(bleep)ing minutes!" Dearka affirmed exasperatedly. "Normally, I would be happy that I haven't heard a single squeak from her, but I think I need to use the bathroom!"

He heard Yzak swallow hard and let out a ragged, shaky breath. "Not a peep."

Dearka turned to look at his friend with puzzled eyes. "Well, you seem strangely quiet. What's so wrong about taking a dump?" He turned his attention to the door and kicked it. "Hey!"

"Dearka, stand aside," Yzak commanded in a deathly calm voice.

Dearka suddenly felt nervous at Yzak's strange demeanor and so, readily complied. For once, he chose to keep his silence. An Yzak with a weird aura was not someone to cross. Yzak stepped forward and knocked softly on the door. After a few minutes of silence, he let out a furious roar and kicked it forcefully. The door swung open. Dearka closed his eyes, afraid that he might see something he wasn't supposed to see. Something that'll guarantee him a kick in the shins was more like it.

"SHE'S NOT F(BLEEP)ING HERE!" Yzak screamed. Then, he could here several more curses and the sound of furniture being destroyed.

Dearka's eyes flew open and he could see that the bathroom was empty. He could see Yzak totally ripping the room apart. "Um, Yzak, what if we went outside and look for her?"

"We weren't supposed to let her out of our sight!" Yzak roared. He regarded Dearka in an accusing stare. "Why the heck did you allow her to go there alone? You knew Le Creuset's orders! We weren't supposed to let her out of our sight! Not even for a goddamn nanosecond!"

He grabbed Dearka's collar and everything went black.

For Yzak, that is.

"Phew! I had to get him to calm down," Dearka muttered, shaking his head. He stepped over Yzak's unconscious form and proceeded upstairs to the front door. The little she-devil couldn't have gotten far away. He had to look for her.

As for Yzak, "Stay here for awhile to cool off buddy!" he snickered as he slammed the front door close.

* * *

"Okay, Kira, don't panic!" Lacus reminded him frantically. "Just be Cagalli and everything will be fine! I'm so sorry that I can't be there, but we already talked about this!"

Kira hid a grin behind his hands. Lacus was being such a mother hen. "I'll remember that Lacus, and please, take care of yourself…"

"Oh, Kira!" Lacus exclaimed, suddenly pulling him in a hug. "I don't know what I would do without you!"

Kira, unsure of what to do, patted her on the shoulder awkwardly. "There, there, Lacus. I'll be fine. Are you sure that you don't need any help?" He really wasn't looking forward to the events that will take place that day. It was hard acting like Cagalli, but it was going to be a hell lot harder without Lacus around. For starters, who was he going to please with his great acting skills? But he would never admit it to her. She had a lot on her mind right now without him adding to it.

Lacus reluctantly pulled away and managed to give him a grin despite her worries. "Well, Kira, I guess I'd better get going. I overheard Rau telling King Uzumi that he had some business to attend to. And I'm going to find out exactly what business that is."

"Just, take care, Lacus. I'll be waiting here. And good luck!" Kira gave her a lopsided smile and a thumbs-up.

Lacus seemed to be having a battle of wills. She appeared deep in thought. Kira was about to ask her what was wrong when she suddenly took a deep breath and kissed him on the cheek. Then, blushing, she waved goodbye and exited the room.

After a few seconds of standing there in shock, Kira climbed Cagalli's bed and jumped up and down on it, not caring at the slightest that he was in a dress with a blonde wig. He was just too deliriously happy to care.

* * *

Well, at least Kira Yamato was not the only happy one in the castle. Someone was also sharing his sentiments. The blue-haired bodyguard that accompanied Arthur Trine yesterday was looking very un-bodyguard-like today. Oh, no, no, no. And rightly so! For who would ever, in their right minds, think that Athrun Zala was just a simple bodyguard? 

He was, in actuality, the rich King that was seeking a wife. Kings are not always old and bald! They could be young and handsome too! And he was the living proof of it. He was probably the youngest King ever crowned in the history of their kingdom, but he could care less. He was doing a great job. His kingdom prospered under his reign.

So, perhaps they would allow him to have fun, just once in his life, and forget about formalities for a week.

He was willing to help Orb. It just so happened that Arthur, his right-hand man and guardian, suggested that as he was nearing the proper marrying age, it would be advisable to find himself a wife and settle down. It was like hitting two birds with one stone. He'll help a suffering kingdom, -and- gain himself a wife (thus shutting Arthur up). He briefly wondered whether he would accomplish both of his goals. But as soon as the thought presented itself on his brain, he quickly brushed it off. Why wouldn't he succeed?

He had heard many things about the Princess. But none of them even came close to what he realized yesterday. Yes, coming here was not a bad idea after all.

He peeked in the hole and snickered at the sight of the Princess jumping up and down on her bed.

* * *

"If you decided to just make yourself known yesterday, we wouldn't be faced with this problem," Arthur admonished him lightly. 

Athrun rolled his eyes. Arthur was always so uptight. "As usual, you're making something out of nothing at all."

"What would they think of our manners? The horror of being thought of us unrefined… Ugh," Arthur snapped bitterly. "To some people, like you for example, these kinds of things are -nothing-, but to the rest of us who -do- care, this is the worst faux pas that I have ever had the horror of coming across."

"Whatever," Athrun muttered. "Don't worry, I'm going to apologize. I'm not as 'unrefined' as you think I am."

"Forgive me, Your Majesty. It's just that, it's my job to ensure that everything goes right!"

Athrun smiled gratefully at him. Even though the man could drive him insane most of the time, Athrun knew that he meant well. And maybe it's his job to make his guardian loosen up and live a little. "That's fine. You know me."

Arthur seemed to accept this and kept -relatively- quiet as they were making their way to the throne room. He was finally going to meet his future wife and suddenly he felt a couple of butterflies take flight in his stomach. _'Relax, Athrun,' _he mentally pep-talked himself, _'think of this as a sort of…practice for the real thing.'_

Finally, they reached the huge oak doors that led to the throne room. "Well, ready Your Majesty?" Arthur asked him.

He took a deep breath, nodded and plastered a huge smile on his face. "As ready as I can be, Arthur!"

Arthur nodded to the two guards standing beside each door. The guards nodded smartly and pushed the heavy doors open for the both of them. Athrun remembered to thank them, recalling his experiences during his short-lived career as Arthur's bodyguard yesterday.

King Uzumi greeted them again with his fatherly manner and regarded Athrun curiously, taking note of his appearance. He turned puzzled eyes to Arthur, "Wasn't he your aide yesterday?"

Arthur chuckled richly. "I'm sure King Athrun has a marvelous explanation as to why he cooked up such a scheme yesterday."

Athrun gave his guardian a tight smile and then bowed to King Uzumi. "I apologize for lying to you, Your Majesty. I only wanted to see for myself what kind of girl the Princess was. It was never in my intention to deceive you. Please forgive me."

The King gave chuckled, held his shoulders and straightened him up. With a twinkle in his eye, he told Athrun, "You and Cagalli will get along just fine. I can see it."

Athrun smiled politely. The doors opened to announce the arrival of the Princess and he immediately turned his attention to the blond girl making her way towards them. He gave her an encouraging smile and the Princess in turn gave him a confused one.

Well, at least this time, she didn't fall flat on her face.

* * *

To say that Kira was feeling nervous would be an understatement. He was feeling jumpy, panicky, tense. And to make matters worse, the blue-haired bodyguard from yesterday kept on smiling at him like he was some sort of…something. Kira returned his smile uncertainly. Maybe he was laughing inwardly, remembering Kira's face-kissing encounter yesterday. He walked directly to the King and waited for him to introduce them. 

At least, Rau Le Creuset was not there. Where was Cagalli's fiancé? He shivered inwardly as he imagined what they would do for the rest of the week. Maybe they would hold hands, and be touchy-feely, and, if the rich King had a lot of guts, (another disgusted shiver) -kiss-. _'There's no way in hell I'm kissing a boy!'_ he thought furiously, desperately trying to erase the image from his mind.

King Uzumi fixed him with a proud, fatherly gaze. "Princess Cagalli Yula Athha of Orb, I would like to introduce you to the King Athrun Zala, from the Kingdom of PLANT."

The blue-haired boy stepped forward and kneeled in front of Kira and took his hand. Kira felt himself stiffen as various images floated in his mind, but the young King just smiled at him. "I apologize for not telling you the truth yesterday. I just wanted to see for myself… how you would react."

Kira felt his face heat up as he remembered how he 'reacted' yesterday afternoon. _'…By almost kissing the floor and commenting how squeaky clean it was, that's how!'_ he thought ruefully. "Oh, please do stand up, Your Majesty. There is no need to apologize."

Athrun promptly got to his feet and smiled at him once more, which Kira found slightly unnerving. It wasn't that it was unpleasant; on the contrary, it was a harmless, friendly, -adoring-, smile. But he just felt uncomfortable having a -guy- smile at him like that.

King Uzumi gestured at the sun shining brightly thru the tall windows in the throne room. "Such a beautiful day shouldn't be spent indoors, hm?"

Kira forced a happy smile on his face. He knew what the true meaning behind King Uzumi's words. He imagined the blue-haired boy leaning in to kiss him… Two voices seemed to come alive from inside him…

'_I – I think…'_

'_No, Kira! Don't back down! Think of Lacus! Lacus!'_

'_Eh? I'm -supposed- to think of Lacus when he leans in to kiss me!'_

'_No, you dolt! What I'm saying is Lacus is counting on you!'_

'_To kiss him! No way in hell!'_

'_No! Lacus is counting on you to protect Cagalli's intentions!'_

He shook his head to get rid of the thoughts swirling around in his mind. No matter what! He'll get through this! He definitely will! For Lacus!

Kira glanced at Athrun's smiling face and felt himself turn green.

* * *

Tree. Tree. Tree. Tree. Bush. Tree. Grass. Tree. Tree. Bush. Grass. Tree. Tree. Tree. Bush. Tree. Tree. Tree. Tree. Another freaking bush. Another freaking grass. Another freaking TREE! 

Cagalli had never in her entire life seen that much trees. And she had come to the conclusion that she didn't like them very much. She was already irked to begin with, what with spending a day tied-up and gagged. Add in the fact that that Yzak and Dearka had pushed her patience to the limit. She was tired, hungry and dirty. She was definitely, infinitely, absolutely pissed off.

Another one word that could describe her current predicament was: -LOST-.

_'Where the heck am I? Well, I'm still in the forest, but what part of the forest?' _she thought angrily. She was starting to think that maybe escaping at the dead of the night wasn't such a bad idea after all. The sun was beginning to rise and she had been walking for approximately nine hours now.

She thought about what her father would think and she let out an almost sad sigh. _'Maybe he thinks I ran away and how irresponsible and selfish I am.'_ If she were entirely truthful, she would have to admit that she -was- irresponsible and selfish…but not when it came to her country. And it felt really different when she was thought of that way, when she -wasn't- exactly doing anything of the sort.

If she hadn't been kidnapped, she would probably back at the castle, being pampered to almost perfection by the helpers. _'Full body spa…sauna…hot bath…'_

She shook her head violently to get rid of the thought. _'Ack! Stop thinking about it and torturing yourself with it, Cagalli!'_ she mentally reprimanded herself. _'I never though I'd see the day when I'd be -begging- for all that girly stuff.'_

Well, weirder things had happened.

Who the hell would send three incompetent nincompoops to kidnap her? Who would be thick enough to do that? Who would want her out of the way? Was it a simple kidnap-for-ransom case or was it something much bigger? There were too many questions but too little answers. She -had- to find out what was behind it all.

But for the mean time, she will have to settle for something on a smaller scale…like getting out of this forest, for example.

And her stomach seemed to agree with her, as it let out a loud rumble.

* * *

Athrun glanced at his blonde companion and smiled. After this day was over, he -will- accomplish his objectives. They were walking in the garden and true to what King Uzumi had said, it was a nice day. A nice, cool summer's day, in fact. Athrun led the Princess to one of the benches and they sat down. They were a considerable distance from each other and one might say that the silence was deafening. 

"You're so quiet, Princess," he commented, inwardly wishing for her to take the bait.

The Princess let out, what seemed to Athrun, a strained smile. "It's just that I'm a little…uncomfortable. This is our first meeting, is it not?"

Athrun chuckled. She was making it hard for him. "Actually, technicality aside, we already met yesterday."

She gave him a small smile and then turned her attention to her lap. Athrun couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that. _'Are -her- hands -that- interesting? More so that -me-?'_ he thought sarcastically. Things won't go the way he planned if she remained this -silent-.

Maybe she was just scared of him? He snorted inwardly at that. Why the hell would she be scared of -him-? As far as he knew, from what he had heard, -he- should be the wary one. Perhaps, he needed a new tactic? Yes, that was it. He was going to get to the bottom of this even before the day ends.

* * *

Kira couldn't help it. His mind kept on producing unpleasant images about -the- kiss. _'What if Cagalli never came back? I'd be stuck impersonating her forever! And Athrun will find out that I am a guy sooner or later! If he does, would I be send to the dungeons or straight to the execution chambers! I'm too young to die! Plus, I haven't even asked Lacus out on a date yet!'_

"You're very different face to face," Athrun commented curiously.

Kira felt a lump form on his throat. "I-I am?"

Athrun let out an amused chuckle. "Yes, if you permit me to say so. From what I have heard, you are very…outgoing."

Kira fought the urge to roll his eyes. _'Now that's a very nice way of putting it. Outgoing. Cagalli. Frank and aggressive is more like it,' _he thought incongruously. He knew that he should be acting that way, but it wasn't in his – Kira's, that is – character. He was an introvert, how the heck was he supposed to act all loud and stuff? He was already feeling quite embarrassed at the fact that he was wearing a green dress, a blonde wig and, for god's sake, -make-up-!

He could see Athrun survey him inquisitively at the corner of his eyes. What was he supposed to say to that? _'Come on, Kira! Think! Think! For Lacus!'_ The last sentence seemed to awaken something inside him and he felt…-inspired-. From what he had seen, the very Cagalli-like thing to do was to punch the guy straight in the face. _'They're supposed to get married, not start a boxing match!_' he inwardly sighed. _'I give up.'_

Deciding to play it safe at the moment, Kira gave Athrun a puzzled stare. "What -exactly- have you heard about, er, me?"

"That you were very, er, outgoing."

Kira forced what he hoped to be a sweet smile on his face. "That's very nice of you to put it that way. But, what -exactly- have you heard?"

It was Athrun's turn to look confounded.

Kira had to smile at the look on Athrun's face. _'The tables are turned!'_ he thought giddily. _'Are you going to tell the truth, King Athrun? Or will you continue saying sickeningly sweet words of flattery?'_

To Kira's mixed surprise and horror, Athrun turned to look at him with a (_gulp!_) -loving- stare. "Finally, you show your true colors. I've always liked that about you, Princess Cagalli. You are very out-spoken. Your temper is legendary."

Kira's head was spinning. The guy was practically professing his love for him! Well, technically, it was for Cagalli. But… even so! He felt his breakfast churn in his stomach. It must have shown on his face because the loving look disappeared from Athrun's eyes and was replaced with a concerned look.

"Are you alright, Cagalli?" he asked.

Kira nodded slowly. Then, after a few seconds, he shook it vehemently to get rid of the nauseating thoughts. "I-I'm fine! Really, I am!"

Athrun raised an eyebrow at that. "You look a little green."

"I-It must be, um, you know, the, um…" Kira trailed off, unsure of what to say. _'Think' _"It must be the, um, time of the month!"

"Time of the month?" Athrun echoed amusedly.

Realizing what he just said, Kira felt his cheeks go hot.

"I didn't know girls turn green at the 'time of the month,'" Athrun observed jokingly.

Kira forced a laugh, but groaned inwardly. _'Stupid!'_

Athrun brushed a blonde lock out of his face. Kira stiffened at that. _'No, it can't be! Stop it! I'm a guy! A bloody, straight one at that! Stop!'_ his mind was frantically screaming at him to do something but he sat frozen in the bench, completely mortified.

"You know Cagalli," Athrun began, his voice turning slightly husky. "I've always liked you… You're even better in person."

Kira's mind was reeling. _'Well, that's fine and dandy. Except for one tiny, itsy-bitsy detail! I'm -not- Cagalli! I'm Kira Yamato! A male! I'm not a princess! Heck, come to think of it, I'm not even a prince… Aaaahhh!'_

Athrun leaned in, his lips getting closer to his…

Kira unconsciously clenched his fists. _'There's no way in hell I'm going to kiss a guy!'_

* * *

_**Next Chapter: **Will Athrun kiss "Princess Cagalli"? Just what is he up to? Will Cagalli get out of the forest? Or will she have to resort to eating icky, improvised forest food? Is Dearka finally showing signs of a hidden intelligence? Will Athrun be Kira's first kiss? And where is Lacus? All these and more in the next chapter of 'The Princess and the Pauper'!_ _

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_**Author's Notes:** Sorry if this is kind of late. I was kind of…preoccupied with school stuff. I just finished a full scientific paper in just under six hours! -groans- Honestly, can't I just tell my professor, 'Hey, sorry but I wasn't able to write it! I had writer's block!' Yeah, right._

_I just noticed that Arthur Trine is out of character. But who cares? Just kidding. Well, I find him funny in Destiny. Better than Natarle, I think. Thanks to Wi-Fi technology, I was finally able to download the rest of the GSD episodes. Just waiting for Phase 45 to finish downloading…_

_On the lighter side, I managed to convert my cousin (the one who gave me this Princess and the Pauper idea) into a full-fledged SEED fan! Though she still prefers Gundam Wing and G Gundam. Oh, well. To each her own! But even my seven-year-old sister's into SEED! Anyway, hope you liked this chapter. Sorry if it's a little shonen-aish. I'll explain it on the next chapter! But please bear in mind that this will NOT be shonen-ai. I was actually squirming when I wrote this… I hope it has enough humor to make you forget of that near -kiss- (-shudder-)._

**_THANKS TO ALL THE REVIEWERS! I have to find a way to reply to each of you… heard that's illegal now…_**

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**A little more of the outtakes for all of you!**

**Phase 24 – War for Two**

**-**

**Scene where Cagalli steals the gun from Athrun.**

Cagalli: But that…thing! It will hurt many people!

Athrun: Then kill me, because I'll be the one piloting it!

Cagalli: (_throws the -loaded- gun_) K'so!

Athrun: (_dives towards Cagalli and gets bonked in the head by the gun; loses consciousness_)

Director: Cagalli! I told you to throw the gun on your side, not at Athrun!

Cagalli: (_-smiles-_) Hehe… I got carried away!

Director: Next time, just… (_suspicious look_) wait a minute, you're looking more muscular today, Cagalli…

Cagalli: (_rushes into the scene, panting_) Of course he looks muscular, you idiot! That's not me! That's Kira in a blonde wig! (_approaches the unconscious Athrun_) Athrun, honey! Are you okay?

Kira: (_takes off the wig and throws it at Athrun_) That's for even -looking- at Cagalli when she accidentally lifted her shirt, you pervert! And I thought you were my friend!

Assistant: (_whispering_) Should we tell him about the kissing scene on Phase 48?

Director: (_whispering back_) Not unless we want Athrun dead…

-

**Scene from above, take 2!**

Cagalli: But that…thing! It will hurt many people!

Athrun: Then kill me, because I'll be the one piloting it!

Cagalli: (_throws the -loaded- gun_) K'so!

Athrun: (_dives and lands on top of Cagalli_) Geez! Who in the world would throw a loaded gun?

Cagalli: S-sorry…

Athrun: …

Cagalli: (_whispers_) Athrun… er… this is the part where you get off of me…

Athrun: (_bends forward and kisses Cagalli, who readily complies_)

Director: Cut! That's not supposed to happen until Phase 48! Stop that you two!

Yzak: For the love of God, could you get a room!

Dearka: That's hot! Where's big brother anyway?

(_Muffled sounds in the closet_)

Kira: (_locked inside said closet_) What the hell's happening in there? (_panics_) Athrun! Stay away from my sister!


	6. When Lost, Look for the North Star!

_**Author's Notes:** Okay, sorry for the somewhat short chapter. Another shameless plug: please check out my new fic, 'Athrun and the Green-Eyed Monster Called Jealousy'. It's a one-shot AC humor for all those suffering from Phase 45. Thanks to all those who reviewed!_

_**About the story:** It's getting quite long for a parody, huh? Sorry about that. But as you may or may not notice, I try to insert some plot along the way. I won't end this with a 'what-the-hell?' kind of ending. This has a point. Well, a -semblance- of a point at the very least. Anyway, I have all the chapters plotted out and we're about midway now! Thanks everyone! I hope I'm not boring you for drawing out the events!_

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**Chapter Six – When Lost, Look for the North Star!**

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Kira could see Athrun's face getting nearer and nearer. His mind went blank and only one thing remained in his mind. _'There's no way in hell I'm going to kiss a guy!'_ It was as if his thoughts forced their way on his clenched fist. Then –

POW!

Athrun stared at him in shock. Kira sighed in relief and glared at Athrun. He cleared his throat and waved his fist threateningly. "Touch me again, and you'll get more than that," Kira warned in a high-pitched voice. Athrun just stared at him and with each passing moment Kira began to feel slightly anxious. _'Did I punch him too hard? What if he called off the wedding? What would Lacus say? Would our cover be blown? Would Lacus ever talk to me again?'_

He was panicking mentally when he heard a few chuckles from Athrun. At first Kira thought that the young king was going insane. Athrun stood up and bowed in front of him.

"Forgive me, Princess. I guess I should've seen that one coming," he apologized in a sincere voice. He looked up and gave Kira a smile which could make a lot of girls go crazy (but which could send shivers down his spine). "Will you forgive me?"

Kira had half a mind to say no, but thinking about Lacus, he forced himself to smile. "Of course. But please, never do that again."

"Never again?" Athrun echoed in a teasing tone. "What about when we get married?"

Kira felt a lump form in his throat. _'When -we- get married? I think not! Let's just hope that Cagalli makes an appearance by then!'_ he thought disgustedly. He forced his vocal chords to produce a laughing sound. "Let's cross the bridge when we get there, hm?"

Athrun regarded him with his piercing green eyes and smiled once again. "You never cease to amaze me, Princess. You're not like the other girls that I've met." He touched the forming bruise in his cheek and he winced. "Your punch is also unlike anything that I've experienced."

Kira fought the urge to roll his eyes. _'Well, of course I'm not! Take the fact that I'm a -boy-, for starters!'_ he thought sarcastically. "I hope you're not hurt too much," he muttered.

Athrun brushed the thought away with a wave of his hand. "Oh, don't worry! I'll live. It was my fault, anyway, for treating you badly. I apologize."

_'Is this guy for real? It's either that or he's blissfully unaware of the hatred that's emanating from me in waves! Well, at least I didn't mess anything up, the wedding's still on and if it was possible, I made him like Cagalli even more! I hope Lacus appreciates this… Speaking of which, I wonder what she's doing right now?'_ Kira thought apprehensively.

At his side, Athrun's smile became wider at the look on Kira's face.

* * *

One thing that Lacus Clyne realized today was that she would make a very good spy. She had been following Rau Le Creuset for about two hours now, unknown to the latter. So far, Rau had bought a new mask, had eaten some ice cream, gotten a trim and tried on a few clothes. He was either stalling or just plain playing hooky that day.

Lacus sighed and adjusted her hat and eyeglasses. It was a miracle she managed to squeeze all her hair in that itsy-bitsy cap! She definitely needed a haircut. They were inside a restaurant, a very posh one at that. She was sitting on the table directly behind Rau's. She fought the urge to just march up to him and demand what in the blue hell he and his silly mask were up to.

But of course, she was always the epitome of serenity and endurance so she settled on just sipping her tea and calming herself. If she wasn't stuck following Rau around, she would most probably be back at the castle, spending time with Kira and watching over him.

Or if everything was perfectly alright, she would be back in the castle, tutoring Cagalli. At the thought of her best friend, she sighed. Where in the world could Cagalli be? It wasn't like her to just run away from her responsibilities. She knew Cagalli. No matter how impulsive she seemed, she would never do anything like this.

Sitting at the table in front of her was the key to all her assumptions. There was definitely something behind his surprised look when he saw Kira.

_'Kira…'_

She felt really guilty at just leaving him in the castle after getting him into this mess. Remembering her very bold move that morning, she blushed. _'I wasn't thinking properly! Well, I was, but – I just – um… why am I even defending myself when no one's scolding me for my un-ladylike actions? I like Kira…'_

That was the understatement of the century.

Sure, they'd only just met. But in fairy tales, love at first sight exists, so, no complaints here. Lacus sipped her tea and forced herself to focus on the situation at hand. _'Stop thinking about Kira for a while, Lacus!'_ she reprimanded herself mentally. _'Think about Cagalli…Cagalli's safety…Kira's beautiful eyes…No! Cagalli's whereabouts…Kira's cute smile…Rau's plans!'_

Her mantra was interrupted by the shrill ringing of a phone. She sat up straighter, and even more so when she saw Rau took out a slim cell phone. Lacus leaned forward and strained to hear Rau's conversation.

"Hello?" a sneer. "Dearka? I don't care about Nicol. Where's our little visitor?" another sneer. And then the smirk was completely wiped off his face and he stood up abruptly, tightening his grip on his cell phone. "WHAT!"

Lacus almost fell out of chair at Rau's sudden outburst. The whole restaurant was looking at him curiously. A waiter hovered near him, unsure of what to do. Rau ignored them all, he looked livid.

"I don't f(bleep)ing care! Find her! Search every goddamn corner, every goddamn hiding place! I'm going there now! You better hope that you find her before I get there or all three of you are -DEAD-!"

_'This is it!'_ Lacus thought excitedly. _'I'm on to something!'_

Rau threw a couple of bills on the table and immediately rushed outside. Lacus followed suit. Rau got on his car and revved forward, as if the devil was on his heels. Lacus got on her car and followed Rau at a safe distance. They drove for a while until they reached a forest-like area near the mountains. _'Figures. Trust Le Creuset to construct his hide-out in the middle of nowhere.'_

Lacus parked at a farther distance and watched Rau storm up the log cabin and furiously kick the door open. After making sure that no one was around, Lacus quickly went near the house and chanced a peek at the windows. There, she could see two boys, one silver-haired and the other blond, squirming under Rau's angry stare.

"You morons! How could you let her out of your sight?" Rau's voice was loud and clear even through the thick wall.

"Blame Dearka! He was the one who was watching the blonde she-devil!"

"Well, you told me to let her do what she wanted!"

"I told you nothing of the sort! I told you to make her shut up!"

"Well, it's practically the same!"

"Why you –"

"SHUT UP! You bastards ruined everything! EVERYTHING! I COULD KILL YOU BOTH AT THIS INSTANT!" steam was practically coming out of Rau's ears.

Lacus' eyes were growing wide with each passing minute. It didn't take an idiot to formulate what Rau was up to! _'It's Rau! He kidnapped Cagalli! I have to tell King Uzumi!'_ She was ready to make a run for it when she bumped into someone.

"Hello," a pleasant voice greeted her from behind.

Lacus turned around slowly, her heart beating against her ribcage.

"You know, eavesdropping is rude," the green-haired boy smiled at her.

Lacus forced an apologetic smile on her face. "I'm sorry. I was just passing by."

"Oh! Are you lost?"

"Er…yes."

And then the kind-faced boy went into the details on 'how NOT to get lost in the forest.' "You know how to find the North Star? They say that when you find that you won't get lost. And well, you also have to…"

Lacus stared at him blankly. _'Is this guy for real?'_ "Um, well, thank you for that information. I guess I'd better get going now." She let out a nervous laugh and waved at the guy. The boy waved back and flashed her another smile.

She was half-running, half-walking towards her car. She couldn't believe it! She got away! Out of sheer dumb luck! She got in her car and was about to start it when her door opened and Rau Le Creuset sneered at her. "Just where do you think you're going, Miss Clyne?"

Lacus swallowed hard and smiled nervously. "T-to the castle?"

Rau sneered once more and shoved a suspicious looking ball on her face. The last thing she remembered before everything went black was someone saying, "Yzak's socks works wonders…"

* * *

On the contrary, Athrun -did- feel 'Princess Cagalli's' hatred emanating in waves, he just chose to ignore it. Cagalli sure was feisty… and she punched harder than all his self-defense instructors put together! He touched his cheek once more and winced. _'It's probably getting all purple-like. I just hope that Arthur won't make a big deal out of this.'_

He wasn't copping a feel or something when he tried to kiss her. It was just the Princess looked so adorably stiff that he felt like he needed to do something to make her show her true self. After all, that was the entire point of their meeting. He just felt a little disappointed that he wasn't able to accomplish his goal.

Well, he at least had dinner left to think about it.

Their day together would end in a simple dinner for two at the veranda. Thankfully, the elders (meaning King Uzumi and Arthur) didn't bother them for the rest of the day, whether intentionally or not. He felt like the Princess became even more stiff and subdued in the presence of other people.

He chanced a glance at the quiet lady beside him. "Are you quite alright, Princess? Or are you still mad at me?"

A grimace, then a funny-looking smile. "There's no need to fret. I'm alright. And please…call me Cagalli."

Athrun flashed her another of his winning smiles. "Well, if that's the case, then please call me Athrun."

She flashed him another of her constipated-looking smiles. "Alright, Athrun."

Athrun fought the urge to sigh. She just couldn't take a hint. Or she was choosing not to. Either way, she was making it even harder for him. Their conversations merely revolved around formalities and the like or smiles from him and grimaces from her. It was a sadistic cycle!

_'I better do something before things get out of hand…'_ Athrun mused. _'But I'll pore over it after dinner. I'm hungry!'_ He felt his stomach rumble in agreement. Thankfully, it didn't produce any embarrassing sounds along with its confirmation. He watched Cagalli at the corner of his eyes looking straight ahead, a stiff expression on her face.

Athrun cleared his throat and Cagalli fixed him with a slightly wary, 'what-now?' look. He fought the urge to smirk. "Cagalli? Would you mind terribly if I ask you a question?"

Cagalli shook her head, blonde hair swaying softly from side to side. "Not at all."

"Are we near the veranda yet? Because I'm afraid that my stomach is telling me to get some food in it."

* * *

Kira blinked at what Athrun had said. _'If he wasn't flirting with me, I'd say that he's a pretty funny guy,'_ he thought amusedly. He abruptly stopped on his tracks as he recalled Athrun's sentence. Athrun stopped walking as well and gave him a curious look. "Um, Athrun, am I supposed to be the one -leading- you to our dining place?"

Athrun's curious expression turned into a puzzled one. "Yes. This is -your- house, is it not?"

Kira wanted so badly to slap his hand on his forehead, but that might loosen the wig so he restrained himself. _'Okay, Kira. Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic! I'm lost in my own home! Where are we? Is there a map here somewhere? Come on, Kira, think! Should I look for the North Star? Or maybe I should ask instructions from a passing guard! Argh! That's stupid!'_

"Er, are you alright, Cagalli?"

"For the final time, I'm quite alright!" Kira answered through clenched teeth. He didn't need any of Athrun's 'are-you-quite-alright?' litanies right now. He was lost. He hadn't heard zilch about Lacus. He was wearing a blonde wig. He was wearing a dress. He was with someone of the same gender who thought he was his fiancée. He was NOT alright! Kira wanted so badly to tear off his wig and scream himself senseless. This was NOT his day…

Athrun sighed. "Are we, by any chance, lost?" he asked softly, with a slightly amused tone.

"What do you think?" Kira snapped. Then realizing what he just did (and after wondering whatever happened to his meek and gentle nature), he took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I'm sorry for being such a jerk, Athrun. It's just that…you caught me in one of my bad days, that's all."

To his mixed surprise and horror, Athrun regarded him again with one of his annoyingly love-struck looks. "You don't need to apologize, Cagalli. I told you, I liked you because of that."

Kira mentally counted from one to ten to calm his frazzled nerves. _'It isn't Athrun's fault. He doesn't know that I'm not Cagalli. The least I could do is -try- to be a -little- friendly. Hmm… maybe I could take pointers from him on how to court girls! Cool!'_

Having found another motivation, Kira smiled sincerely. "Okay."

Athrun smirked. "So, we're lost, aren't we?"

Surprised at the sudden change in his companion's attitude, Kira could do nothing but blink stupidly at him. And then he let out a nervous laugh. "That's funny! Maybe they rearranged the rooms! They always do that to me! It's sort of a…bonding…thing! It helps, uh, boost our staff's morale!"

Athrun raised an eyebrow at that. "You got lost. On your own home."

"It happens to everyone!" Kira amended. "Besides, I'm, er, not hungry! Why don't we just, um, go back to the garden and, uh, talk! Yeah! That's nice!"

Athrun gave him a rue smile. "I wish I could say the same. But I'm feeling terribly hungry. I'm not used to skipping meals."

Kira could feel his eyebrow twitch and his ire rise. Again. _'Well, what do you want me to do? Find a map?'_

"Princess Cagalli! There you are!"

Kira stopped his slightly violent train of thought and turned his attention to the young maid running towards them. "Sir Kisaka sent me to get you."

_'Kisaka? Oh! The tall, dark man with the ponytail.'_ Kira silently thanked the big man up there, as well as kind-hearted Kisaka for saving his butt. "Thank you very much. Please, lead the way."

* * *

She was -this- close to giving up. Yes, Cagalli 'winners-never-quit-quitters-never-win' Yula Athha was about to throw a life's worth of morals into the dust bin and just -give up-. She so wanted to just throw a tantrum and stomp her foot on the forest floor so that it would just swallow her whole and maybe spit her out in a different place.

She had been walking since god-knows-how-long. She had half a mind to just march back to her captors and demand that they tie her up at once. She didn't know for how long her sanity will still hold her in one piece.

'_Where the heck am I! I wish I'd listened to that training camp and stuff about finding the North Star when you get lost… It's getting dark! Argh! How do I find a freaking star out of millions and millions of identical stars? Even if I did find it, what the heck am I supposed to do with it? Maybe I could just scream until someone decides to come after me to shut me up.'_

She was muttering curses here and there, kicking grass and dead leaves everywhere and generally just throwing a tantrum while walking when she saw something that made her stop dead in her tracks.

LIGHT!

She was saved!

Cagalli quickly ran towards the light and was very much feeling ecstatic. When she got nearer, she saw that it was a car pulled over in the side of an abandoned highway. When she realized where she was, she could almost feel her face heating up in embarrassment and in rage.

There, standing beside the said car, was no other than Rau Le Creuset, sneering away and scolding three boys that she recognized as the ones who kidnapped her. Why was she feeling so particularly murderous?

It didn't take an idiot to figure out that Rau was behind all these

She could clearly make out a cabin behind the dense trees, she was back were she started!

It turned out that she had been walking around in circles, for a whole freaking day!

Well, there were more reasons why she was so pissed off, but she no longer had the patience to list it one by one!

Cagalli pulled her hair in frustration and ducked behind one of the bushes. She took a deep breath and slowly counted from one to ten to calm her nerves. Well, it was clear that the morons did not see her. All she had to do was to wait for them to go away then she could hot wire the car and get the hell out of there. Or PLAN B, if Rau decided to use the car, would be to follow the gray asphalt road and walk the rest of the way home.

None of those seemed very appealing, but hey, if it could bring her one step closer to her planned revenge, then so be it.

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_**Next Chapter: **Is this the sign of a beautiful friendship for Kira and Athrun? What will happen to Lacus? Will Dearka, Yzak and the newly-revived Nicol mess up Rau's plans again? Will Athrun finally succeed in his mystery plans? Will Cagalli push through with her Plan A or Plan B? All these and more in the next chapter of 'The Princess and the Pauper'!_

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_**Bonus:**_

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**Phase 28 – Kira**

**Scene where Birdie lands on Athrun's hands.**

Birdie: Birdie!

Athrun: (_looks in shock, but instinctively lifts his hands_)

Nicol: It's a mechanical bird!

Yzak: (_rolls eyes, snorts_) Gee, how did you -ever- know?

Dearka: Oh, I don't know Yzak, maybe because the thing has -wings- like a real bird, a -beak- like a real bird, -flies- like a real bird, -looks- like a real bird…What do you think Athrun?

Athrun: (_scratches head and sighs_) Ah, Dearka, stop asking me the hardest questions!

Nicol: Okay! That was a very dumb thing to say!

Yzak: Yeah, well, thanks for pointing out the obvious – again!

Director: Cut! Stop bullying the kid!

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**Scene where Athrun hands Birdie to Kira.**

Athrun: …Is this…yours?

Kira: (_takes Birdie_)

Athrun: (_turns and starts to walk away_)

Kira: A…a friend!

Athrun: (_stops and looks at Kira_)

Kira: It's a very special gift…from a very special friend…

Athrun: (_snorts_) Well, of course it's special! You got that for free, didn't you?

Director: Cut! (_'what-now?' look_) Athrun!

Athrun: Well, I wasted two months' allowance on that thing and then I gave it to him for free instead of selling it! How would you feel if that happened to you? (_sulks_) And then, all I ask for in return is a little alone time with his sister and he does everything in his power to separate us!

Kira: Well, I -am- the hero of this show.


End file.
